Friday, February 25, 2011

Gerard Butler called Jennifer Aniston to sing “Happy Birthday” to her

Gerard Butler called Jennifer Aniston to sing “Happy Birthday” to her

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Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston probably boned. I have accepted that, although the thought of Gerard grunting and sweating on top of Aniston still makes me nauseous. I prefer to think of him grunting on top of me, or, failing that, someone who looks a lot like me. Like Monica Bellucci (LOL). But yes, Gerard and Aniston were all over each other for a short time.

He vacationed in Cabo with her and her friends, and he even stuck his finger up her ass. Ugh, here comes a wave of nausea…. Monica Bellucci, Monica Bellucci. Okay, I’m good. So, Gerard and Jennifer probably made sweet, sweaty, grunting, boring love and it was so bad that Gerard had to pick up another woman, French journalist Lisa Cholewa, halfway through Bounty Hunter’s European tour. Still, Gerard and Jennifer are still friendly, apparently. Friendly enough that he calls her to wish her a happy birthday:
The romance fizzled fast, but the friendship is still going strong between Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston. Dining al fresco with pals in the Chateau Marmont’s garden, Butler suddenly smacked his forehead and blurted: “Ohmigod! It’s Jen Aniston’s birthday. I’ve got to call her right now and wish her a happy one.”
Whipping out his cell phone, Butler speed-dialed, got Jen and bellowed cheerily: “Happy birthday, LUV!” After a few joke-y gibes about her age (she’s 42), the sentimental Scot propped the phone in the middle of the table and - as diners gawked, grinned and even joined in - he enthusiastically conducted his posse in a pitchy but powerful rendition of “Happy Birthday”.
[From Mike Walker’s column, The Enquirer, print edition]

Does Gerard says things like “Ohmigod!”? No. And the only thing Gerard whips out is his…you know. Did this happen? Whatever. If it did happen, it just proves that they’re still friendly enough to have each other’s phone numbers. Plus, it’s not like Gerard remembered her birthday before the actual day came. That bitch didn’t even send Jennifer flowers! He’s so delightfully cheap. When Gerard and I get married, we’ll clip coupons together.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.
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